Today is my 33rd birthday. Birthdays are still, and always will be, a big deal to me.
I believe birthdays should be celebrated with the zest of young children because – hey, we’re alive. That’s something to celebrate, right? In past years, I’ve gathered friends to go to a concert, taken over an entire karaoke bar, thrown myself a BBQ/gameday extravaganza, had huge dinners out, made huge dinners in, gone on hikes, spoiled myself with manicures and mimosas…I like to celebrate.
So, why, on my 33rd birthday sitting here at my uncle’s cabin in one of my favorite places on earth, am I so meh about it all?
I was talking to my friend Eve-Maridy earlier this week about our upcoming journey and found myself saying, “I crave change, but I also resist it.” Shawn and I have huge changes coming our way. Changes that excite me and motivated me to save and uproot my whole life in Portland, yet I still resist them. I know once I get on the road and get over my fears and missing people, I’ll be happy with my decision. It’s what kept me motivated all that time…but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard.
Yesterday after we finished our boat ride around the lake, Eve-Maridy said, “we have to go jump off the end of the dock and take a picture. Will you do it with me??” It was 7pm, the water didn’t seem all that warm and I kinda just wanted dinner…but really, why wouldn’t I?
It’s going to be a good year. Sometimes you just gotta jump in.