I came home from happy hour with a friend last night and had one perfect little moment, in thinking about this upcoming trip, where something inside of me said, “you’re doing the right thing.” This little voice doesn’t pop up often, but it did last night. I told Shawn that I was really scared a lot of the time. Scared that we didn’t save enough money. Scared that I would hate traveling. Scared that we won’t finish our to do list in time. Scared that we just won’t be able to do it. So many things to be scared of, right? But then this little voice inside me found a way to send a message to me saying, “it’ll be OK.”
“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I went to yoga last night before my happy hour date. My teacher quoted an interview in The Sun magazine that I fell in love with a few months ago. It was about the brain inside our belly. Scientists recognize the web of neurons lining the gastrointestinal tract as an independent brain. This might be what we commonly refer to as “gut instinct.” She read to us this section in the beginning of our practice and once again at the end.
This head-based, masculine perspective gives rise to three serious misunderstandings that drive our culture: we misunderstand what intelligence is, what information is, and what thinking is. Take our understanding of intelligence. We think it’s the ability to reason in an abstract fashion, something you can measure with an IQ test. So we remain blind to the impotence of reason in areas of vital concern to us. You cannot reason your way into being present. You cannot reason your way into love. You cannot reason your way into fulfillment. If you wish to be present, you need to submit to the present, and suddenly you find yourself at one with it. You submit to love. There’s that great quote from the Persian mystic Rumi: “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
I didn’t really realize what all this message meant until, of course, the middle of the night. Suddenly a light clicked on inside of me. I got it through my thick skull that it’s exactly what we were talking about in yoga last night. I loved that interview so much, but I only really started to get it last night. I’ve been spending so much time up in my head that I’ve let the blocks build up blocking me from my gut. The very same gut that told me three years ago to quit what I was doing and go back to the dream. My real dream. So that’s exactly what I did. I gave up on a career that wasn’t as satisfying as I had hoped, took a risk mere weeks before my wedding and decided, I’ll just figure it out. And somehow, the Universe helped make it happen.
And then there was this post from Sarah.
And this poem from Kim.
Do I think these are somehow predictions for my future? Nah. I don’t really believe in that. But sometimes, if you’re paying close enough attention and are willing to take the risks, everything just seems to be in harmony.